respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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