Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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