but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
