Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
