The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Damn victory sex feels great
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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