we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize