It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drake has all the answers
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
