I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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