Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i've created a new STD.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
