Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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