he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
