i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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