my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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