My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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