id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
