how can u be prego again
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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