But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
