Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
