He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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