they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The power of my boobs compel you
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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