my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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