but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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