I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
