we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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