Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So much rum. So many feels.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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