So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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