She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
