I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Duck Duck Cougar?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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