we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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