Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's Friday. Sex?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
