I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
