dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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