So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
