Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
