Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Mom said you looked used
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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