my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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