A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
