nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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