why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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