dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
