So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i was born a porn star she said
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
