drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
