I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
