my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
