ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
