Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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