i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
