They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
