I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
