and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
