if i can run in heels then i can drive
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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