i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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