It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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