operation harelip BJ is a go
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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