Whod you bang
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
