he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
