As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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