I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
