I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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